I suddenly woke up and instinctively looked out our window. It's still dark. I grab the closest device beside me to check the time. It's still around 4-ish AM.

 

This usually happens to me. I've always considered this as a good start of the day. When everything else is quiet and there is nothing between me and reading but silence.

 

So what am I going to read this early dawn? The Young Elites? Nah. I'm already in the good part of the story and I was afraid that I might not stop reading until 9 AM! So why not read a new manga, I thought, since I just finished L-DK yesterday?

 

So now I'm scrolling in this wonderful app I discovered, Manga Bird, looking for light shoujos I can leisurely read till sleep visits me again. Then I found Orange. Really, my selection of mangas are very random. Whatever cover catches my eyes or whatever mood I'm in. Like with novels, I dive right in not really knowing anything.

 

Plot: One day, Takamiya Naho receives a letter written to herself from ten years in the future. As Naho reads on, the letter recites the exact events of the day, including the transfer of a new student into her class named Naruse Kakeru.

 

The Naho from ten years later repeatedly states that she has many regrets, and she wants to fix these by making sure the Naho from the past can make the right decisions—especially regarding Kakeru. What's more shocking is that she discovers that ten years later, Kakeru will no longer be with them. Future Naho asks her to watch over him closely.

 

From the very first chapter, tears were already forming and until where I left off, I was bawling like a baby. This is one sad manga! God, I wish I knew what I was getting myself into. I'm not ever really ready for anything and I go into reading stuff in a blank slate. Yes, I know, I live a dangerous life. This way I have a more natural reaction to whatever's going to happen in the story. Most of the time it leaves me in a mess but in the end, I am satisfied with the feels. Sometimes I don't get over it for some time (Nana *sigh), but eventually I move on.

 

Regret is such a sad thing. Besides love, it can also grow old with you. You can go on your life, be in a different place be a different person but still carry that regret which you wish you did, but can never again because the chance has already gone. Whenever I see/read stories with the central theme of going back to the past, of course, we tend to ask ourselves if we'd do the same thing. I thought I already knew my answer to this. No, I would not change my past, whether there will be consequences or not. But this manga got me thinking. If I could save a life, then I will try to change the past. Regardless of what happens to me in the future, if that person is important to me, then I will try to save him.

 

What broke me was when Naho found out that Suwa also received a letter from his future self. I will always root for the "other" guy in a love triangle, but Suwa is a whole different character than another side of a triangle. First and foremost, he was a friend. A great friend. All those time reading about Naho's burden of carrying this great responsibility of saving Kakeru and sympathizing with Kakeru for all that he's been through in that young age… and then Suwa. Whom you just thought as the rebound that married Naho because Kakeru died… but really he was the one who was giving the greatest sacrifice. He was holding himself back and concealing his feelings for Naho so that Kakeru could have the happiness he should get, and also knowing that Naho has the same feeling for Kakeru. He genuinely wanted both Naho and Kakeru to be happy… because they're his friends and he loves both of them. The final blow to my heart was the bouquet. Kakeru asked Suwa to give him a bouquet for his birthday so he could give it to Naho. I would imagine that more than being hurt, Suwa was actually happy about the bouquet, because he saw them happy.

 

I'm determined to finish the manga first before seeing the live action. An anime is said to be coming this summer.