Plot:
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There's only one problem: she's not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel's convinced she's found her solution—Roman, a teenage boy who's haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner. Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other's broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together.

Thoughts:
I don't know what to say about this book. I didn't want to read it, because I was afraid it'd make me sad. But I knew that there would be a parting lesson in this novel at the very end, which I knew I needed. I was willing to go through all the darkness just to see that light.

I just want to hug Aysel and tell her everything's going to be alright. It was never her fault that her dad did what he did. She feels like a reject. Rejected by the whole town, the whole school, her workplace, and by her own mother. So she wants to die. Habitually looking through a suicide website, she learns about suicide partners. She feels she needs to have one, afraid that she can't do it on her own. I keep telling her in my mind, "that's not a good idea, you need to talk to someone!" But of course she doesn't listen and goes ahead with her plan.

Aysel meets Roman, her suicide partner. Now he's a whole different level of depressed. He blames himself for the death of his sister, and he specifically wants to die on the day of her death anniversary. Does he think that's poetic? I know for a fact Aysel could be swayed not to kill herself if someone just talked to her but Roman, he's really in to it. He was resolute.

It has a predictable story line, and I guessed as much that Aysel will eventually back out and help Roman to change his mind. They have a deep connection and they obviously liked each other... just that Roman couldn't look past that because his guilt was heavier than his feelings.

In the end both of them did not die, but it doesn't mean they lived happily ever after. The ending of the story was their beginning to recovery. Aysel started talking to her mom and sought help, and she was there for Roman to help him out as well.

It was an easy read, but sometimes a little heavy that I needed to stop for air. Though this type of stories are a bit intimidating as most of us read to entertain ourselves, I think that it's good to educate ourselves, learn from the characters, look for signs, we might see it in people around us and we may just help save a life.

Rating:
3 stars